It’s almost a year now I cldn’t blog. I wanna be honest here, I don’t want to give arguments. This space is my small world where I can write my opinions, experiences, fantasies and can live with it forever.
A reason for not writing was I didn’t feel up to it. There were ‘n’ number of emotional ups and downs I was going through. I was in the phase of analysis. I am still in this phase. God knows when I am going to come out of it.
I did some introspection and some analysis of people around me. And I felt that it’s difficult to change anybody at the same time it’s difficult to change yourself as well. But how to live life the way you want when you know surrounding is not what you had expected or at least what you want….
Love I understood is just nothing when it comes to views and thinking. Love is one wave where as thinking process or perspective to look at certain things is another wave. It doesn’t match and at the same time it can live parallel. But then two people living together have Love is common and thinking in two different directions, how can they live? More than that if people surrounding you have altogether different way of thinking and different set of opinions, values, look outs then how would you live with them? Change youself completely? That’s what I am trying to cope up with.
You know that the feeling of getting loved and to love is the best feeling in the world. Still you feel insecure when it comes to living, why? Insecure of knowing that others can not match to your thinking and you can’t to their thinking. Sometimes irritation when you understand the other set of thinking and feel too distant… Sometimes lonely and sometimes a feeling of getting caught and sometimes to give up, I am going through all this cycle of feelings everyday!!
I am trying to cope up with all of them. I can’t express all these mixed feelings and incidences related to it. But I wanna get rid of this state of mind. I wanna be the same as I was before. I wanna be the same…..
A reason for not writing was I didn’t feel up to it. There were ‘n’ number of emotional ups and downs I was going through. I was in the phase of analysis. I am still in this phase. God knows when I am going to come out of it.
I did some introspection and some analysis of people around me. And I felt that it’s difficult to change anybody at the same time it’s difficult to change yourself as well. But how to live life the way you want when you know surrounding is not what you had expected or at least what you want….
Love I understood is just nothing when it comes to views and thinking. Love is one wave where as thinking process or perspective to look at certain things is another wave. It doesn’t match and at the same time it can live parallel. But then two people living together have Love is common and thinking in two different directions, how can they live? More than that if people surrounding you have altogether different way of thinking and different set of opinions, values, look outs then how would you live with them? Change youself completely? That’s what I am trying to cope up with.
You know that the feeling of getting loved and to love is the best feeling in the world. Still you feel insecure when it comes to living, why? Insecure of knowing that others can not match to your thinking and you can’t to their thinking. Sometimes irritation when you understand the other set of thinking and feel too distant… Sometimes lonely and sometimes a feeling of getting caught and sometimes to give up, I am going through all this cycle of feelings everyday!!
I am trying to cope up with all of them. I can’t express all these mixed feelings and incidences related to it. But I wanna get rid of this state of mind. I wanna be the same as I was before. I wanna be the same…..
1 comment:
Hi
I trembled on to your blog.. from a very old comment of your on my blog :-).
I read two of your posts, 'soul mate' and this one. And I think I know what was happening when you wrote this post.
Hope you are feeling more at ease with yourself and you are in control of your life.
Wish you peace and totality.
Deepshikha.
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