Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Lost Horizon...


Kabhee haadasonkee dagar meele, kabhee mushkeelonka safar meele
Ye cheerag ho meree raah ke, mujhe MANJEELONKI talaash hai……

Koi ho safar me jo saath de, mai hun jaha koi haath de
Meree Manjeele abhee door hai, mujhe raastonkee talaash hai…..


All I have to say today is that I am lost in the clouds. I try to call upon somebody and every time I get my own echo back to me.

Life has become very smooth. No challenges, nothing new. The job is some how ok but it is not where I want to be.

Dreams to do something in life, to fly, to achieve the heights. Working hard to fulfill them. Life is a journey, once u achieve the goal; it no way remains your destination n you look ahead to achieve something else. How funny!!

Today when I look back to see what all have I achieved in life and where do I stand in the competition I feel empty… Nothing has been done n yet miles to go to achieve the dreams.

I dreamt of building a house for my parents for they had lost all their charming days of young age in working hard n feeding us. I wanted them to live happily. No one would have done anything for them but I had to do many things. Today when I have purchased a home for them, I feel they deserve better than what I have given them.
My dreams were very small when I was there in 7th standard, living life in a village – Rather I had no dreams but then I was very close to nature. The farms there and trees and the people. I remember I lived the life at its length then. And then the drastic change happened, we came to a bigger city for education and I saw people achieving something or other in their lives. I wanted to become one of them. I wanted to enter into this competition.
Slowly I started working. I used to see students of my age enjoying their lives and I used to tell myself that not now, this is the time to work for me but I will cope up with the situations and one day or the other I too will enjoy the life with all the charm and quality lifestyle. I do remember going home walking because I had eaten WADA PAAV. A price to pay for even the smallest of luxury. Still, I was happy as I knew that there is the destination where I have to reach n I was trying hard to achieve it.

After completing the graduation, I decided to go for an MBA. Now a days during an interview, people ask me as to why did I go for an MBA instead of an MCA as I have completed B.Sc. in Comp. Sci. and I reply stating that I knew I had the skills for marketing. But there was another reason for it, which I considered more important then and it was – for MBA it takes only 2 yrs and for MCA it takes 3 years and I had to choose the one which will pay me back earlier!! J
Somehow, those were then, but I was really happy for whatever the compromises I had to make and whatever the difficulties I had to face. Looking back I feel contended. I remember recently somebody had commented that my life lacks the spice. And well, for that I had no answer. Does it mean to be romantic? Or does it mean going to pub or clubs to enjoy your life? Or does it mean to talk about the latest fashion, lifestyles etc… I have no idea!!!

But today, I am feeling as if I have lost the path. I don’t want to stay where I am and I am all blank for what I should do now to go ahead. This is not my destination definitely but then what is to be done next – LOST. This empty feeling is killing me like anything… I am tired and lost. Trying to search a meaning of life. I have traveled this far but yet miles to go… but where do I want to go really?

I read books and try to cope up with this empty feeling, I go out n try to get rid of this empty feeling, I interact with people and try to forget this empty feeling but anyway, it is still following me like a shadow. Is this a lonely feeling? Or is this just because I am not satisfied for whatever I have achieved and not able to find out my next destination? Can anybody answer me…. Is there anybody who has gone through this phase earlier?

I guess im down
and i wear this frown
its times like this
that i feel id rather miss

i have what many would want
but deep inside
it feels empty
why do i snap?
why do i cry?
im not like this
is it a lie?

Snap out of it i tell myself
you know you are better
dont degrade yourself
these feelings are my own
lock them away
away in my home
and thats where they will stay


.
.
.
Hold me to your willing heart
And let me - help me - weep
That I of need might fall apart
And then at last might sleep...

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Sense of Humor..

This is the best sense of humor I have ever read. Just for the readers of this blog!! :)

Bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and
began to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather
coat. It's only £1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealer ship and saw the new
2005 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "£70,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year
is back on the market. They're asking £950,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will
probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really
is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at
him in astonishment, mouths agape.....

He smiles and asks:

"Anyone knows who this phone belongs to?"

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

First Post!

Hi!

I am so excited to write a blog! This is my first post and I wish after a long time when I will look back – would find many quality posts as well as the comments on the same!

Lets start with the friendship day. It was a friendship day on 6th Aug. Frankly speaking I don’t ever remember the dates!!! Only Ashwini (My best friend) gives me reminder – always!!! I can only remember my date of birth and that’s all about the dates I can do!!!

But then finally she gave me the reminder this time 3 days before and I laughed in a loud on it! It was so foolish to celebrate such type of days – mother’s day, father’s day, and now this – friendship day!!!

But then I gave another thought to it… Is there any harm in enjoying the day? Was it that bad? Have I ever given a gift to my mother ? – Well I don’t even know her date of birth!! Its only because they are very old even to mention it… Then why not to use some day to actually express the feelings and celebrate it? Of course now people will say - is there any requirement to express your love and feelings – I would say YES. There is. We do care for others, we do love them but have we ever expressed it? Why not to be materialistic at least once in a life time and express it. It will either help in developing a strong bond but of course will not harm the relationship!!

And somehow I enjoyed the day – as a friendship day!!!!

Of course I will rather say that the day you express your feelings would be the friendship day for you. But many people can’t express it and then the concept of day helps them!!!

And also the hidden agenda of the gift companies gets fulfilled!