The Zahir – Really touching.

Hi again!

Time to discuss something about recently read book – The Zahir from Paulo Coelho. Book is truly good but I want to say something here – I read The Alchemist and I was impressed by Paulo’s writing. I am still impressed but now I feel that its typical of him. Just the same style and same attitude towards looking at certain things.
Anyway, I am no way as good as Mr. Paulo Coelho and hence I think I have no right to make any comment or critics.

But something that touched my soul: Some paragraphs writing here which I would like to share with all of you. :

A sense of paradise descends from the skies. And I am aware that I am living through an unforgettable moment in my life; it is kind of awareness we often have precisely when the magic moment has passed. I am entirely here, without past, without future, entirely focused on the morning, on the music of the horses’ hooves, on the gentleness of the wind caressing my body, on the unexpected grace of contemplating sky, earth, human beings. I feel a sense of adoration and ecstasy. I am thankful for being alive. I pray quietly, listening to the voice of nature, and understanding that the invisible world always manifests itself in the visible world.

I ask the sky some questions, the same questions I used to ask my mother when I was a child :

Why do we love certain people & hate others?
Where do we go after we die?
Why are we born if, in the end, we die?
What does God mean?

The nature responds with the constant sound of wind. And that is enough : knowing that the fundamental questions of life will never be answered, and that we can, nevertheless, still go forward.


The last touching paragraph which I feel to share here is :

In the words of a Parsian sage: Love is a disease no one wants to get rid of. Those who catch it never try to get better, and those who suffer do not wish to be cured.

Some Facts...

The day has been started and I am back at work. Today I am in no mood to work!!! The thing is that I have lost the faith in the organization. But do I really need to have a faith in the organization where I am working? Well, I think yes.

But Why did I loose the faith? Any reason? Ye.. Reasons are many, like a manager who likes to just compete with you and is not in a favor to empower you. A one over one manager – though knows that these things are going on in the office, deliberately avoids it. The organization – where you know is the loads of politics going on around and where you feel that it’s a world for you. And so you work like a dog, trying to earn more and more revenues for your firm. And the firm in return treats you like a dog!!! Wowww… perfect picture!!!

All ARE WAITING FOR.......

!

!

!

!

@

@

S.A.L.A.R.Y.

Anyway, life is moving. There are certain changes coming up. Little bit excited to move on & grab the opportunity at the same time little scared to take risk. But ye, risk are the part of life and if you want to go ahead, you need to take risk. Generally I have seen people taking calculated risk and I personally don’t like to do that. Donno why, it’s my nature. But that many a times have hurt me – that’s true.
Today again I am here on a turn where I have to decide the career path. A small turn in career, change in industry. Am I ready? Yess, I am. Unless & Until I don’t jump, how will learn to swim? I know, I can do it.

Now a days I feel like to go back to home and stay with parents. I have never felt this before. I am just searching for a peace of mind. So many days have passed now , I haven’t stayed with Mom n Dad for a long; Small weekends and that’s all.
But I am optimistic, may be this new path will make me busier and then I will not be having time to think of peace. Or else the job itself will offer me the peace of mind, who knows?

So Alpana, get set….. Go!!!

Lost Horizon...

Kabhee haadasonkee dagar meele, kabhee mushkeelonka safar meele
Ye cheerag ho meree raah ke, mujhe MANJEELONKI talaash hai……

Koi ho safar me jo saath de, mai hun jaha koi haath de
Meree Manjeele abhee door hai, mujhe raastonkee talaash hai…..


All I have to say today is that I am lost in the clouds. I try to call upon somebody and every time I get my own echo back to me.

Life has become very smooth. No challenges, nothing new. The job is some how ok but it is not where I want to be.

Dreams to do something in life, to fly, to achieve the heights. Working hard to fulfill them. Life is a journey, once u achieve the goal; it no way remains your destination n you look ahead to achieve something else. How funny!!

Today when I look back to see what all have I achieved in life and where do I stand in the competition I feel empty… Nothing has been done n yet miles to go to achieve the dreams.

I dreamt of building a house for my parents for they had lost all their charming days of young age in working hard n feeding us. I wanted them to live happily. No one would have done anything for them but I had to do many things. Today when I have purchased a home for them, I feel they deserve better than what I have given them.
My dreams were very small when I was there in 7th standard, living life in a village – Rather I had no dreams but then I was very close to nature. The farms there and trees and the people. I remember I lived the life at its length then. And then the drastic change happened, we came to a bigger city for education and I saw people achieving something or other in their lives. I wanted to become one of them. I wanted to enter into this competition.
Slowly I started working. I used to see students of my age enjoying their lives and I used to tell myself that not now, this is the time to work for me but I will cope up with the situations and one day or the other I too will enjoy the life with all the charm and quality lifestyle. I do remember going home walking because I had eaten WADA PAAV. A price to pay for even the smallest of luxury. Still, I was happy as I knew that there is the destination where I have to reach n I was trying hard to achieve it.

After completing the graduation, I decided to go for an MBA. Now a days during an interview, people ask me as to why did I go for an MBA instead of an MCA as I have completed B.Sc. in Comp. Sci. and I reply stating that I knew I had the skills for marketing. But there was another reason for it, which I considered more important then and it was – for MBA it takes only 2 yrs and for MCA it takes 3 years and I had to choose the one which will pay me back earlier!! J
Somehow, those were then, but I was really happy for whatever the compromises I had to make and whatever the difficulties I had to face. Looking back I feel contended. I remember recently somebody had commented that my life lacks the spice. And well, for that I had no answer. Does it mean to be romantic? Or does it mean going to pub or clubs to enjoy your life? Or does it mean to talk about the latest fashion, lifestyles etc… I have no idea!!!

But today, I am feeling as if I have lost the path. I don’t want to stay where I am and I am all blank for what I should do now to go ahead. This is not my destination definitely but then what is to be done next – LOST. This empty feeling is killing me like anything… I am tired and lost. Trying to search a meaning of life. I have traveled this far but yet miles to go… but where do I want to go really?

I read books and try to cope up with this empty feeling, I go out n try to get rid of this empty feeling, I interact with people and try to forget this empty feeling but anyway, it is still following me like a shadow. Is this a lonely feeling? Or is this just because I am not satisfied for whatever I have achieved and not able to find out my next destination? Can anybody answer me…. Is there anybody who has gone through this phase earlier?

I guess im down
and i wear this frown
its times like this
that i feel id rather miss

i have what many would want
but deep inside
it feels empty
why do i snap?
why do i cry?
im not like this
is it a lie?

Snap out of it i tell myself
you know you are better
dont degrade yourself
these feelings are my own
lock them away
away in my home
and thats where they will stay


.
.
.
Hold me to your willing heart
And let me - help me - weep
That I of need might fall apart
And then at last might sleep...