Coming back to blogging!

Its been a long time I was away from blogging. Somehow, the words were vanished, mind was per-occupied and feelings were shrunken. It took all these years to think for a topic that would be compelling enough to start writing once again.
Life kept on throwing experiences and they did make me a better person. It was wonderful to experience something never thought I would do or experience. But all came along and became a perfect canvas I am proud to have painted!

So, here is a quick story I got inspired by during the situations when I thought I would give up. The difference of opinions, different people and situations taught me to respect everyone's perspective and sync in to make it easier for you as well for others.

This story specifically helped me in situations when I had to depend on someone and would have a very little control on the execution.

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Once upon a time there lived a king who was very fascinated towards life. Curious to understand its meaning, he would ask every sage, saint or monk visiting his royal court to give him a Mantra or Sacred message which will be useful at any moment or at any stage of life.
Finally, one day a monk gives him a ring and informs that there is a Mantra written on piece of paper inside the ring and instructs that king must open it only when he faces life and death situation.
Many years pass by, the king never needed to open that ring.

But one day things change, king’s faithful minister rebells and puts him behind the bars. A committed soldier gives king a horse and helps him to escape in the middle of the night from the prison. Somehow with great efforts King runs away and crosses border of his kingdom. When the evil minister gets to know that the king has escaped, he gets angry and sends his solders to kill the king.

On the other side, king reaches at the peak of one of the mountain and finds a huge valley in front of him. He has no path to run away now. He sets off the horse to graze and hides himself behind a huge rock. He thinks that in some time the solders would come and he will die. And at that moment, he remembers the ring that the monk had given him. He opens the ring to read the message. The piece of paper says — “ This too shall pass”.
Just by reading this message the king’s mind becomes calm. A wonder happens! The solders come to that point and think - as the horse alone is grazing that means king must have fallen into a valley and died. Thinking this, they return. Later, the king takes help from the king of the adjacent kingdom and in few days gets his own kingdom back. He then beheads the minister.
The entire kingdom starts celebrating the victory of beloved king. But a new minister notices that king is sitting composed and calm. There is no excitement seen on his face. He goes up to king and in a very respectful manner asks, “my lord, so many events took place in your life and you came out of it safe and sound. So you should be joyful and happy today. You should celebrate this moment”
On that the king says, “No. Now I have understood the sacred message and its power. There is nothing in this world that will last long. The transformation is the sustainable rule of the world. Neither the happiness is sustainable nor the pain. I have understood it now. So remember this - never be overwhelmed in the time of happiness and never be broken down by the sorrow.”

He then goes on adding, “This too shall pass”.
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I am the master of my thoughts

I am reading The Secret. Yes, it’s a nice book. I remembered on my childhood poem – ‘If you think – YOU CAN’.

I have completed 50 pages of the book and I am confused. Yes, it is right that one should feel good inside and that will help you make your thoughts wise and good. You will receive optimistic response to what you want.
I was just trying to use this technique on my feelings. I decided to feel good. No matter what happens, I should feel good inside. So I decided to apply it to anything and everything that I am thinking.
As written in my last post – sometimes I just feel like to quit. I have reasons why I feel so but this time I decided to ‘think-good’.

Then I thought of the things which I never liked – why I don’t like those things/people? Basically in terms of people – I start feeling irritating if I see that whatever they think is the perspective which is way different than mine. Basically I believe whatever that my perspective is, is the only right perspective. I do try to understand the other person – I feel okay - may be he is right at his end because that person’s surroundings and the culture have influenced his thinking and hence he has that particular perspective and going further as long as that person keeps his perspective to his limits that’s fine – I can adjust with that person. But the moment he starts forcing it on me I start getting irritated in the presence of that person. Then I become Touch Me Not and I start avoiding him. For some reason, it goes to an extent of feeling distant and then I start feeling insecure in terms of my own freedom… I feel that I will loose my freedom and the very moment I start reacting. That reaction then makes me feel unhappy inside…. And I decide to quit.

Now in this whole process where is the chance to feel good? How should I convince myself that whatever happens, happens for good? Either I should adopt other person’s perspective and feel good (that means keep quite, accept everything that comes your way – feel good and distribute positive energy) or else fight. In fighting comes unhappiness of hurting somebody….

I donno… I need somebody this time to help me come out of my own dilemmas… May be the book itself can help me. I yet have to complete reading it.

So till the time I find out solution on my dilemmas, stay tuned!!!
J
Cheers,
Alpana

Changing self

It’s almost a year now I cldn’t blog. I wanna be honest here, I don’t want to give arguments. This space is my small world where I can write my opinions, experiences, fantasies and can live with it forever.
A reason for not writing was I didn’t feel up to it. There were ‘n’ number of emotional ups and downs I was going through. I was in the phase of analysis. I am still in this phase. God knows when I am going to come out of it.
I did some introspection and some analysis of people around me. And I felt that it’s difficult to change anybody at the same time it’s difficult to change yourself as well. But how to live life the way you want when you know surrounding is not what you had expected or at least what you want….
Love I understood is just nothing when it comes to views and thinking. Love is one wave where as thinking process or perspective to look at certain things is another wave. It doesn’t match and at the same time it can live parallel. But then two people living together have Love is common and thinking in two different directions, how can they live? More than that if people surrounding you have altogether different way of thinking and different set of opinions, values, look outs then how would you live with them? Change youself completely? That’s what I am trying to cope up with.
You know that the feeling of getting loved and to love is the best feeling in the world. Still you feel insecure when it comes to living, why? Insecure of knowing that others can not match to your thinking and you can’t to their thinking. Sometimes irritation when you understand the other set of thinking and feel too distant… Sometimes lonely and sometimes a feeling of getting caught and sometimes to give up, I am going through all this cycle of feelings everyday!!
I am trying to cope up with all of them. I can’t express all these mixed feelings and incidences related to it. But I wanna get rid of this state of mind. I wanna be the same as I was before. I wanna be the same…..